How I have been dealing with social anxiety.

2026 Day 181. #PersonalDays.

Sunny days in the winter are excellent for a coffee and workout. One of my favourite things to do on Saturday and Sunday mornings was to wake up early, go to the gym, and sit down at a coffee shop with my friends. The place was called Cagliostro and was our lifeline for over a year.

Those moments over coffee were times when I felt like I was truly living in the moment. I would look around at the people passing us by, enjoying the slightly warm Dublin sun, and the extremely well done espresso. No important discussions happened, and nothing valuable happened to be shared with others, I cannot even recall the many conversations that happened, only bits and pieces.

Some small lessons from this

• Time went by so quickly some days, probably because I was used to these things that my brain barely registered them.
• I had no anxiety because I had no fear of being judged. Anyone there was a regular and mostly minding their business in their own little groups. Nobody bothered anyone else unless they wanted an extra chair for the table.
• The people passing by were so fascinated by the mural in the area or their own destination that we never stood out.
• I was so involved in whatever unimportant things we were discussing that my mind never wandered anywhere else.

As I have been running over the past few months I have felt rather anxious when I go out on my runs. A few questions constantly come to mind as I run early in the morning.

• Am I running too slow? Does everyone know that I can run faster but I am just choosing not to?
• Am I running fast enough? Do people realise that I am running at almost 15km/hr?
• Is my running posture okay? Does anyone think I am running rather awkwardly?
• Am I sweating too much? Do people know I am sweating because I have been running non-stop for over an hour?

These are only some of the thoughts racing (pun intended) through my head while I am training.

The first part of each thought is a totally normal thing to question. By optimising your running speed, posture, and keeping in mind the effects of temperature on your output, you can improve your performance.

The second part of each thought is what my anxiety does to me. I am not training because I am a long distance professional athlete, I practice to get better and for my overall fitness goals.

Things I have tried (and worked) to overcome this.

• Music + ANC Earphones. Focus on the music and you can force your mind to not question things outside of your control.
• Day Dreaming. Thinking about how some situations could have been handled differently or how I would liked some things to play out. Helps me distract myself from my current predicament.

They were effective in their task of diminishing my internal anxiety but it also removed focus from my actual run.

To be better you must observe, criticise, and learn. The day I forgot my earphones was the day I realised my steps are too heavy. The day I constantly monitored my heartbeat is the day I actually kept to my targets. The day I paid attention to my breathing and the time is the day I set my 5K PR.

Thus these solutions only work with the caveat that you lose your anxiety and your focus on the current run.

I have been working on a better solution.

Instead of trying to distract myself, I have been paying even more attention to myself. By focussing beyond the metrics that my watch is giving me I am able to “live in the moment”.

I am constantly evaluating my overall feel at certain metrics. Today I ran a 10K, first 8km at about 7'30" min/km and the last 2km at about 5'10" min/km. The day was hotter than the average (28 centigrade) with high humidity. My top was drenched in sweat, my heart was at 175bpm, and my breathing was extremely mechanical and heavy.

Still, I felt like I could go faster, the weather conditions were just not favourable enough. Just yesterday I ran a 5K, first 4km at 7' min/km while the last at a 4'30" min/km. This felt way worse even though I ran half the distance and less effort overall. My heartbeat maxed at 172bpm too.

The overall feel also includes how heavy are my arms feeling, my lower back, the loudness of each step, if the sky is overcast, the speed of the wind, my speed relative to my heartbeat, my breathing pattern etc.

There are so many things that can affect a run that you cannot possibly optimise everything. The best way is that I try to find the ideal spot for me. On hot and humid days I run slower, and windy and cloudy days I run faster is just one example.

Main Idea.

Look inward. Instead of thinking about all the eyes that are looking at me, I try to focus on the things I think that they are wondering about me. Sometimes when a runner passes you by, you are curious about their running speed, are they a sprinter, a long distance runner, or just a casual jogger.

It is a similar sense of curiosity that is helping me live in the moment. The constant evaluation of me and my surroundings makes me a little self-absorbed but this is needed in the moment. The constant scrutiny helps me plan my programs better and avoid general anxiety.

Living in the moment is an advice easy to give, but hard to implement, God knows I am trying.

See you tomorrow