Letting go of realism. Embracing idealism and optimism.

2026 Day 197. #PersonalDays.

I would certa label myself as a pragmatic person who focusses on realistic outcomes over idealism. Some of it is born out of my pessimism, if I do not dream of great things, I will not be disappointed when they do not happen. Additionally, if I am expecting very little, I am bound to be satisfied with any situation and a sense of over the top happiness when the outcome is barely better than realistic.

Another reason why I tried to be very realistic was not to mislead people. If it was about the result of my efforts or about the future of a relationship, I have always tried to be as honest as possible, maybe even a little too honest.

While this would work in an utopian society, these have only caused problems for me. My honesty is perceived as a lack of confidence or high self-doubt. My practical and realistic answers in matter of love were taken as signs of a lack of commitment.

Never did I think to look inward and change myself. I believed if I stayed true to my thoughts and myself, I will find like minded people who share the enthusiasm for realism and this will help forge better relationships.

Two things however, have forced me to reconsider my position.

The first being reading and learning.

There is so much insight in philosophy and psychology that enables you to understand people. You can use your knowledge of their past, the current situation, and their personality into predicting their behaviour with some measure of accuracy.

This is not because people are extremely predictable. It is simply because while there can be infinite stimulus — happy moments, trauma, failure — there are a limited number of results.

Whatever the past may be, the people who look most often at the future are either optimistic or hopeful about it. They might be working towards a dream, or just dreaming, but they are living in the future and out of touch with reality.

When you are conversing with such people or catch them at times when they are dreaming/hopeful of a better future, any sense of practicality will break their illusion. It is thus best to either stay away or join in their temporary idealism.

Consider this a moment of break from reality. For a little while you are not in the real world, you in a perfect world that exists in your imagination. The less practical you will be, and the more dreamy, the happier you will find yourself.

While I do not have proof that this works, I would like to believe it makes for a happier self. I have been practicing this for a while, there are positive effects but I cannot be sure if all benefits can be attributed to this single activity. Life naturally has ups and downs, an experiment like this can be easily influenced if I am in just a phase.

So let people live in their idealistic dreams. Join in when you can, and never try to break this illusion when it is active. At other times, when the illusion is weak or externally shattered, then you may offer true realistic advice and these will seem more useful in these circumstances.

The second lesson I learned is that people are imperfect. They do not want to be misled, but they can be convinced to take alternate actions without physical force. They can be extremely naive, overly cunning, impulsive, passive, and thus their own biggest enemy.

Not everyone arrives at their position with grit and hard work. Some are handed the win, others were simply lucky, some are puppets, and few stumbled upon this and so on. Not all will have the confidence to be in their position, but all will have some sort of ambition.

This ambition is what drives people out of realism and into the unknown. The possibility of having more or something else entirely helps them break away from their current unhappiness. They will use the ambition to escape the current problems and find solace in a perfect future that will never arrive.

Again, when you act realistic with such people you break their dreams of a perfect future and bring them back down to reality. If they liked it so much they would never want to break free from it. Thus they might not hold you in the highest regard for disturbing their reverie.

It is for these two reasons that I have decided to be less realistic as well.

I am not using idealism to run away from my current problems or borrowing happiness from the future. I am instead using it as means of connection, to get closer to people and not only join in their current situation but also form bonds in their idealistic scenarios.

When they think of a perfect life, they might include a friend, a partner, a lover, a foe, and to be included in an idealistic situation is to be held in great importance. I want to connect with people, with friends, to make sure that they know of their importance to me, and how likely I am to support them in their endeavours.

Joining in their idealism is not a tactic, it is simply a joined venture towards a better future. I too would like to include some people in my perfect life, where they could be their imperfect selves.

So I am letting go of some realism, and adopting a slightly optimistic, idealistic future.

See you tomorrow.