Start chasing more conflict with your loved ones.

2026 Day 193. #PersonalDays.

Growing up as an only child has moulded my personality in ways I cannot even imagine. If I had grown up with a sibling I might have become a completely different person. I learned a lot about life after my teenage years. This is when I really started interacting with new people all the time and I developed a few skills that helped me along the way.

One of the most important general skills in your life is working with people and handling conflict. Group projects in college, personal relationships, and some psychology books have helped me extremely.

I wanted to share with everyone how creating more conflict (not the serious kind) can help develop your personality and conflict resolution skills.

Scoping the right person.

First you need to understand the kind of relationship you have with the said person and the dynamics of the relationship. This is extremely important as you could possibly hurt then or strain your relationship going forward.

It is also extremely important to understand the person you are going to chase more conflict with. Some people have thicker skin while others are more sensitive to unfavourable reactions from their close friends. You will have to deal with people of different backgrounds and personalities, understanding why they are different will help you manage them better.

However, it is best to start with someone you have a stronger relationship with that can survive at least minor conflicts without a doubt. You are not going to create conflict to test the strength of your bond, but to observe how you and others react when faced with some unwanted opposition.

Creating conflict.

Start off with rather inconsequential ideas.

Ordering food, choosing the designated driver, what board game you are going to play etc.

Then move on to slightly subjective situations.

Choosing the weekend trip destination, or a vacation, picking out the right outfits and so on.

Depending on your degree of success you might be willing to go forward in even more risky situations.

Winning arguments and getting your way is not the sole thing you should be after. Real life involves compromises and understanding the nature of the person you are dealing with. If your conflict did not help you better handle the situation the next time, it might not have been beneficial.

The idea is not to be argumentative and win as a lawyer would in a court of law, but instead it to learn to communicate, understand, help others see your point-of-view, and then reach a conclusion, whatever it may be.

Handling Conflict.

This is the important part of the exercise.

Once you have established that there are differences that need to be managed you can start working on your skills.

Try to stand your ground and help them see your side of things. Often you will find that a clear explanation of your understanding and thoughts can open gateways to resolution. This is because your ideas are now supported with examples and logic rather than seeming like an unjust demand.

If this does not work, you must try finding a compromise. You should not give up too easily and find a way to have at least some aspect of what you wanted. Even if this means going your separate ways for a short while.

This will help you understand what is worth fighting for an what is not. Inconsequential things are easy to let go and help you save your mental bandwidth.

You must also keep an open mind and listen to the argument that the other side is putting up. Because you have consciously chosen to create conflict, you might end up on the unfavourable side. Maybe your suggestion was genuinely flawed.

It takes courage to admit your are wrong and accepting someone else’s path. This will help you choose the best way forward, even if it involves swallowing your pride. When you achieve success you will often forget the conflicts, and focus more on how people moved on from them and did well afterwards.

So these are the three main ideas behind conflict resolution that you may learn from such experiences.

• Expressing your ideas simply and appropriately
• Standing your ground, finding comprises where everyone leaves somewhat happy
• Admitting your faults, and committing to a different path.

You get can better at anything with practice. When you go through a new situation your brain learns a lot more than when you go through it a second time. It often relies on the previous experience to help you out in your current predicament.

By chasing conflict in safer space and with trusting individuals you create scenarios that you could possibly face in the future but in a sandbox. While it might never be able to grasp the seriousness of a real situation, the steps to conflict resolution and people management will remain the same, just with higher stakes.

Chasing conflict should not be your main aim of the exercise, focus on mitigating it instead. Do not bother a single person too much or it might be detrimental to your relationship and you might lose someone for no reason at all.

See you tomorrow.