What does love feel like for you?

2026 Day 186. #PersonalDays.

Humans experience many kinds of love, romantic, platonic, parental, transactional, and so on. But how we do arrive on a universal definition of love? We know it is a feeling and it is not always rational and it comes from within. But how exactly do you know when you are in love?

The most loved I have ever felt is when stray animals choose to sit next you over others. In my travels and hikes, I have had the good fortune of cats and dogs clinging to me for no apparent reason. They had no apparent reason to choose me over others, but they chose to stick by me.

I have had my share of romantic relationships as well. I have mostly felt very taken care of but they have never seemed to be enough. I did have fun and enjoy them, but it felt like having the most sumptuous meal followed by no dessert. Not the greatest analogy but it is the best I could come up with.

I have been blessed with platonic friendships that have helped me through various phases of my life. Some have been around for almost two decades now while others were only around for a brief time. I cannot possibly remember or acknowledge every person that I had the opportunity to share some part of my life with, but I am eternally thankful to all of them for various reasons.

Looking towards my parents and family I have a bag of mixed feelings. On one hand I know that they adore me and care for me. On the other I realise that we have such different expectations of how to love and be loved that there is a big gap between us that should have been filled with love but is now just an awkward phase. I have tried to change things around but it is a two way street and traffic does not flow symmetrically.

Between all of this I wonder how would I go about defining love.

It is easier to admit you love something when the consequences are minimal.

As a kid I loved spider-man, as a grown up I love running, for a brief period of time I loved drinking at a pub with my friends. These interests and hobbies keep changing and evolving over time. Everyone has their own choices and unless you are expressing love for something diabolical, loving any one thing and admitting it is not a big deal.

Expressing it your friends about your love of the platonic friendship can be challenging at times. Often in more patriarchal or homophobic environments it can be received with some scrutiny. In closed off societies people are not generally open about such conversations and thus it is sometimes better not openly admit things.

On the other hand I see a lot people around me being more open and vocal to their platonic friends. I treat this as a good sign of progress and interpersonal relationships and forming healthier bonds with the people around you.

Admitting feelings of romantic love can often be the most challenging.

Unrequited love is just a lover’s hell.

People often wonder if their feelings will be reciprocated and how their relationships with the said person would evolve from this point on. Call this a canon event for the relationship.

These also tend to get the most messy in my experience, but maybe others won’t share this view.

They also seem to be the most rewarding to me. Sharing your life with a romantic partner is much different than anything else. You share so much time with them that it completely transforms how you might think about things and observe them.

How do we go about defining what love is?

This is the question I find the most difficult to answer. I am not sure what love feels like.

For my platonic relationships I usually feel a deep sense of care and selflessness. I am likely to put their needs above mine if that makes them happy. Once I develop this sort of an affection for someone, that means I share a lot of platonic love for them.

With animals I am always a bit careful. I know now to not approach animals with love for they might not interpret it is the same way. It is best to reciprocate their curiosity and love. It is truly an experience to be loved by animals. These moments are much different and much more intense than temporary human connections.

Even still I find it difficult to define romantic feelings and love. In all my experiences, I have gained a little more knowledge about who I am and how I act but I am not sure if this is my limit. I have had my doubts about the person I was involved with and about the relationship in general and I want to believe that I would be better than this in love.

I never developed an idea of romantic relationships from movies or books so I know that I do not have unrealistic standards or ideas. It feels nice to be loved and cared for but loving someone else is somehow more rewarding.

I still cannot describe the feeling in words. I can define a lot of experiences and feelings that can come close to defining what love feels like but I do not know if that is all. I think of love to be rational and thus can have a definition.

Maybe it is irrational and just a construct in our minds aided by electrical impulses and hormone releases. Maybe that is what love is, when your body reacts to a person, animal, or an activity, and reacts in a way that makes the said stimulus the embodiment of that feeling in your brain.

See you tomorrow.